All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
