4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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