I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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