I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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