I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
