Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
