Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
