Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
