I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
