It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
