DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
