some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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