I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
