Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
