I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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