Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
