Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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