Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
