actually, I'm a sock model
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
