I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize