Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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