I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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