My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
FUCK WHALES
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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