Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
your room smells of hookers.
And success
What did we do last night that was yellow?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
