We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize