Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
