I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
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Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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