Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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