If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
