so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
