Sorry, I don't speak sober.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
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I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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