Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just puked most of my soul out..
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
