My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
