He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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