God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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