yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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