Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?