Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
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I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
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I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad