do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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