she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Everything about him screamed your future.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
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it's like heaven, but drunker
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
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As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning