i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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