i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize
