Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
