who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
