He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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