I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
