I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
