Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
