Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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