i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets