Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize