You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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