he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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