what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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