I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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