I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
